Wimbledon


Fuck off, if you're Ginol-a,
Fuck off, if you're Ginol-a,
Fuck off, if you're Ginol-a,
Fuck off, if you're Ginol-a...

Your Not Robbie Earle,
Your Not Robbie Earle,
Your Not Robbie,
Your Not Robbie,
Your Not Robbie Earle.

Dive, Dive, Dive,
Ginola,
Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha.

They're So Shitty
Oh So Shitty
They're Pal-ARSE

We've got stars all over the place,
Carl Leaburn rises with grace,
Chrissy Perry's got a nice face,
It's Wimbledon...

This is my story,
This is my song,
Follow the Dons and you can't go wrong.
Now some say the Yiddos and Scousers are grand,
But we've got the best football team in the land.
...
Dons, Dons, glorious Dons,
Its down at Plough Lane that they 'bide
The talk of the land are the lads from the Lane
And the Wombles support them with pride...

Northampton don't like it...
ROCK the teabar!
ROCK the teabar!

Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye,
That's what my Momma told me, when I was about knee-high,
She said Son, be a Proud man and hold your head up high,
Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye.
Always finished off with a burst of "BIG, VAL, DOONICAN!" ad naseum.

Give him the ball and a yard of grass,
And he'll leave the keeper lying on his arse,
Jason Eu-ell, Oh, Oh, Jason Eu-ell.

Wally, Show us your bum,
Wally, Wally, Show us your bum!

Bryan Robson's willy,
Bryan Robson's willy,
It's short and shrivelled and it looks so silly,
Bryan Robson's willy.

We'll be running 'round Plough Lane with our willies hanging out,
We'll be running 'round Plough Lane with our willies hanging out,
We'll be running 'round Plough Lane,
Running 'round Plough Lane,
Running 'round Plough Lane with our willies hanging out.
Singing I've got a bigger one than you, (no you aint!)
Singing I've got a bigger one than you, (no you aint!)
Singing I've got a bigger one,
I've got a bigger one,
I've got a bigger one than you.

Micky Quinn, Micky Quinn,
Micky, Micky Quinn,
He went for a spin, and got locked in,
Micky, Micky Quinn.

We're shit, and we're beating you...

Calm down, calm down,
Calm down, calm down.

She'll be comin' round the mountain with her arm in a sling,
She'll be comin' round the mountain with her arm in a sling,
She'll be comin' round the mountain,
Comin' round the mountain,
Comin' round the mountain with her arm in a sling.
...
Singing, I, I'm Peter Shilton's wife,
Singing, I, I'm Peter Shilton's wife,
Singing, I, I'm Peter,
Singing, I, I'm Peter,
I, I'm Peter Shilton's wife.

Jolly unfair, Jolly unfair, Jolly unfair...

Skin up Terry, skin up Terry,
Skin up Terry, skin up.

You've - come - all this way,
And you've lost,
And you've lost.

Look inside the eye of Sam's mind
Talking from his behind
About a place to play
...
We know just where he has been
It's only Dublin he's seen
It gives the game away
...
But to find a ground in Merton can't be hard
All this council stuff could be just a charade
And millionaires that we have never seen
Have walked right in and they have hid
Behind their 30 million quid
But they ain't ever gonna wipe our club out-
...
And no, Sam, we can't wait
To walk through the gates
Of a new ground back home
...
You'll listen one day
"THE DONS BELONG IN MERTON"
You'll hear us say.

Oh, we're not going down and we're not going up,
We won't win the League and we won't win the Cup,
We're not very good, in fact we're bad,
We are the Wombles, we're mad!

Oh me lads, you should have seen us coming,
Everywhere was Yellow and Blue, and everyone was running,
All the lads and lasses with smiles upon their faces,
Walking down the Haydons Road...
To see the Womble aces.

We're not sick, in the head,
We're the West Bank, not the Shed.

Saying goodbye to his horse,
He was saying goodbye to his horse,
And as he was saying goodbye to his horse,
He was saying goodbye to his horse,

We've got a player and his name is Chrissy Perry,
Better than Sol Campbell but he's never on the telly,
If I was a girl I'd like to have his baby,
Oh, Chrissy Perry!

Perry, give me your jersey, 'cos I want to play like you.
Then give one, to Reeves and Kimble, 'cos they haven't got a clue.

It's Christmas time,
Palace getting stuffed again,
At Christmas time,
They've let in four but it should be ten,
And in our league of twenty,
Palace stage the pantomime,
Laugh your heads off at the scum,
At Christmas time!
...
But say a prayer,
To pray for the Palace fans,
In Arthur Waite, the Whitehorse Lane,
And the Holmesdale stands,
There's a team that shares your stadium,
But it's a place that no-one fears,
Where the only water flowing,
Is diluted piss-like beer,
Yet those Palace fans still go there,
Looking miserable and glum,
WELL TONIGHT THANK GOD YOU'RE DONS
INSTEAD OF SCUM!
...
And there won't be goals for Palace fans this Christmas time,
Mid-table is the highest place they'll climb,
(Whoooaahhhh!)
Where no-one ever cheers,
And it's been that way for years,
DO THEY KNOW IT'S PREMIERSHIP AT ALL?
...
So here's to you, sing and cheer if you're a Don
Here's to them, heading to Division One,
Do they know it's Premiership at all?
...
Heed the word!
PALACE GOING STRAIGHT BACK DOWN AGAIN!

You're worse than Crystal Palace,
You're worse than Crystal Palace,
No-one's worse than Palace!
No-one's worse than Palace!

Palace go down
T hey come back up again
But you know they're gonna go back down
...
Palace go down
They come back up again
But you know they're gonna go back down
...
We hate the Palace scum
We hate the Palace scum
...
They're just a shitty team
They're just a crappy team
They're just a bollocks team
They're just a wanky team
...
They're just a team that reminds us of a bag of shit
They're just a team that reminds us of a sack of shit
...
Oh,Palace scum
Palace scum
Palace scum

My, my, at Wimbledon,
Paul Gascoigne got his nuts tugged.
...
Oh yeah, by Vinnie Jones,
That well known football genius (and thug!?)
...
They reckon he should have been banned,
As he squashed them tight with his left hand...

...
Wimbledon! How does it feel to be Premier League?
Wimbledon! Thrashing the biggest teams every week!
Wimbledon! We still remember Division Four!
Wimbledon! Now we'll be Premier for evermore.